Felicia and Bri are here, sharing unanticipated postpartum experiences, navigating the beautiful, albeit challenging journey of transitioning into motherhood. An essential conversation - from the extended bleeding and pain to the powerful surge of emotions when coming home to (oddly enough) missing the hospital's conveniences. We're taking a deep dive into this less-trodden path, because no one should have to walk it alone.
We're also discussing the lifesavers that can ease your postpartum discomfort. Don’t forget all the essentials for managing post-birth healing. We each have unique tales to tell about our transformations into mothers, plus we will be talking about the challenges of postpartum recovery, our personal struggles, the adaptations we had to make, and our journey towards new normalcy. We're sharing resources to help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster that comes with postpartum recovery. So, tune in, let's share, learn, and navigate the complex terrain of motherhood together!
Thank you so much for joining us today . We’re so excited you’re taking this journey with us! They say it takes a village, welcome home mama!
Felicia and Bri are here, sharing unanticipated postpartum experiences, navigating the beautiful, albeit challenging journey of transitioning into motherhood. An essential conversation - from the extended bleeding and pain to the powerful surge of emotions when coming home to (oddly enough) missing the hospital's conveniences. We're taking a deep dive into this less-trodden path, because no one should have to walk it alone.
We're also discussing the lifesavers that can ease your postpartum discomfort. Don’t forget all the essentials for managing post-birth healing. We each have unique tales to tell about our transformations into mothers, plus we will be talking about the challenges of postpartum recovery, our personal struggles, the adaptations we had to make, and our journey towards new normalcy. We're sharing resources to help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster that comes with postpartum recovery. So, tune in, let's share, learn, and navigate the complex terrain of motherhood together!
Thank you so much for joining us today . We’re so excited you’re taking this journey with us! They say it takes a village, welcome home mama!
Hey Mama, welcome to Postpartum Confessions, a podcast for anyone navigating the ups and downs of becoming a mom. I'm Felicia.
Speaker 2:
I'm Breet and we're here to bring you truly unfiltered conversations from the expected to the unexpected parts of being a mom, Whether you're trying to conceive, pregnant or already a mother, this podcast is for you.
Speaker 1:
Let's discover the secrets no one told you about motherhood and how to overcome them together. They say it takes a village. Welcome home.
Speaker 2:
Are you ready? Let's dive in. Hey Mama, this is Felicia.
Speaker 1:
Welcome back to Postpartum Confessions in another mini episode, our short, into-the-point conversations. This week we wanted to chat about five things we did not expect, learned or felt postpartum that need to be shared.
Speaker 2:
Hey, this is Breet, and we wanted to keep it light and have some fun with these five things. But, per the usual, before we get into it, I just wanted to remind you, listening, that every mama's experience is different and that we are sharing some things that we experienced directly postpartum. So you may or may not relate, but with that let's go ahead and jump right in.
Speaker 1:
All right. So number one is going to be you'll bleed and be in pain longer than you think. So a lot of the time, people get the concept that you're going to give birth is going to be you might be sore three days and you should be coasting along until your six-week appointment where they clear you for everything. And while that may be true for some very lucky individuals, I cannot say that that is the most common or the typical postpartum experience, because you will be in pain for various reasons. You could be having a C-section or the vaginal birth, and both come with different expectations on pain and recovery.
Speaker 1:
So six weeks everyone always talks about the six weeks, but there's just so much to it. Even leading up to those six weeks and beyond, there can be pain, especially beyond, if you have any sort of tears that have happened or your C-section recovery didn't go as planned, there was any sort of reopening or something occurred that made it more difficult for you. And even with just the muscles the pelvic floor muscles can be painful, especially even like urinating after you give birth can be painful. Or, of course and we'll talk about this more in another episode but intimacy after birth, what that looks like, pain levels and all of that. So it's just, the bleeding will be pretty heavy and the pain, like we said, it can be different for everyone. But don't just expect, I guess, to have some minimal achiness and then you'll be fine, because there can be more than that.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, even if things went really well and you didn't have many tearing which I'm fortunate that that was my case it's still going to last, like the bleeding lasts, and then that goes away. But the pain persisted. I remember it was eight weeks and I was using the restroom and I was like are you kidding me? Like when is this over? You know, like after a while you just get so irritated with it. But as long as you know that it's there, you can kind of expect and plan that and I wouldn't say it's pain, it's not like it's shooting pain and you're like excruciating.
Speaker 2:
You know if it's from a normal birth or something like that, or a birth without complications, I should say that you know. But it is, it's uncomfortable, you know it's stinging, it's this, it's that, it's you know. So I just I think I remember that story in particular was with my first and I was like this is ridiculous. It's been eight weeks and then you go to that appointment and you know, and they should really have a couple more appointments, like six weeks, maybe like four and eight, or like six and eight or 10. Like I need another one. I agree.
Speaker 2:
You know, just to make sure everything's going smoothly. But yeah, no, it does last a little bit longer than you would think, unfortunately, you know.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it really does.
Speaker 2:
Yeah. And then the next thing is it's amazing to go home, but you might miss the hospital a little bit in terms of like somebody always being there to help you out, like I mean I couldn't wait to get out of there because I wanted to be in my own bed and I wanted people to come and stop checking every like two hours. It felt like I mean, it was nonstop. But when you go home and you walk in the door you're like boom, well, shoot, everything's on me now. Like you know what do I do? No one's checking on me.
Speaker 2:
Like it all of a sudden becomes this like thing and it's like, oh, you know, it was, even though it's uncomfortable, like food was provided. I didn't have to think about it, I might not have been the best, but it was there and I know, you know. I remember one time the nurse came in and she was like, oh, you know, your baby spit up a little bit and I was like, really, and I like cried because I think I'd followed asleep and I was like I didn't notice. And she was like, it's okay, I'll clean it. And the same thing happened with like a diaper change and I was like, oh, look, another poop, like a little, you know the meconium, and I was like, oh, that stuff's awful. And she was like it's okay, I'll clean it, and I was like peace, you know. So you know, yeah, right, when you go home, yeah, you're on your own, you know.
Speaker 1:
Oh yeah, that was kind of like the same for me, as I was like we were being fed, at least, and stuff.
Speaker 1:
But I was just like so tired and having them help, like even here and there was like nice.
Speaker 1:
I got to be shown like the sponge bath, the first like little bath and the first diaper change which was also filled with meconium, and even when, like I would fall asleep nursing and the pain even started in the hospital for me, the pain for at least trying to get through the feeds and whatnot.
Speaker 1:
So I was still already struggling in that end, but I was like falling asleep with her in my arms and they would come in and be like we don't allow that here and I was like I can't wait to go home so that I can take naps with my daughter and I have to be like told what to do and stuff. I was just like so ready to be home. And then I got home and I felt so overwhelmed that I cried all the time. I cried all the time I didn't sleep with my husband in our bed. I cried all the time about that too, and I ended up like being in the living room with my daughter all the time because she was just like waking up every hour or two because she was just she didn't want to be out yet and I was like where the heck is my comfortable little sack full of fluid?
Speaker 1:
She's like I don't want to be here, so it was just like you went home and I was just like you know it was like kind of nice when we had some help here and there and you always could ask questions because they were always there. But then you go home and you're like in the thick of it and you're just trying to maintain your composure while everyone wants to come over and see the baby, while you're like this close to either losing it or having a mental breakdown.
Speaker 2:
So everybody go away yeah.
Speaker 1:
So be prepared. It might just you might miss it a little bit while you're in those first few weeks alone, or feeling like you're alone, navigating the trenches.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, there's some deep trenches sometimes.
Speaker 1:
It's all good, but yeah it is, it's all worth it. It is very much worth it. Yeah, then the next one is going to be by the end of your stay. You will hate every doctor and nurse, even though you appreciate them, just because they keep waking you up. And I will add to that a little bit and say that if you are nursing, or attempting to nurse at first at least where I am from the hospitals around here very much they give you a sheet, they give you a little clipboard and you write down everything left or right, breast, how long, you know, like all that little stuff and a lot of time.
Speaker 1:
I was tired and, like I said, I fell asleep, even if it was like during the day while nursing and stuff.
Speaker 1:
Well, she would, or sorry, she would, fall asleep while nursing and then I would just kind of be like, well, like putting a little back in the swaddle and everything, getting her back into the bassinet, and by the time I was done with that, I was like so tired that I wanted to take a nap while she was sleeping, which they recommend you do.
Speaker 1:
So I didn't fill out some of it and they're just like, oh, and they wake me up overnight trying to get me to do it and writing it down and whatnot. But I had an app on my phone anyways and I was like I have the information, we're okay, and I love that they like try to support you in that way, but sometimes, like they're not giving you any information, they're just trying to get that paper from you which has left and right and how long. So we're going to wake you up a bunch and it's going to be for various reasons whether it's your vitals, the baby's vitals, testing once the 24 hour testing for hearing and whatnot comes about. So you're going to be told to get plenty of rest, but you're not going to get plenty of rest.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, there's no resting in there. I mean, you think at some point I'm like can you do the checkups at the same time or something Like if you're going to disturb the baby and me, because I mean I if the baby was asleep I would fall asleep like mid conversation. You're just so tired, you know. And then they just keep coming in and with my second I had to stay at the diabetes and so you have to be tested and the baby regularly, to make sure the sugars aren't like going crazy and you're getting, you know all the things or dropping and whatever it is.
Speaker 2:
And so that was like an even added thing and it was like when did the baby last eat? And I was like I don't know. You saw it, like you know, you were in here, I mean literally. And then it's like, well, when did you start eating? And I was like I wrote it down on the thing and so sometimes they wouldn't even check. But sometimes it was like I don't know, I didn't even finish. You see food's still there because you know you checked the baby needed to eat. And then I fell asleep. I'm still hungry, like you know. It was like it's like I'm trying my best here, you know.
Speaker 2:
And then, on top of that, it's like people for, yeah, for like paperwork and different things, and you're like, oh, my goodness. So yeah, that's why you kind of like, oh, you're so sweet. And then I mean some of them are nicer than others and more helpful than others, so, depending on like your shifts. So there are some that I was like please don't leave me, and there are some that I was like, okay, go away, you know, you're interrupting my peace.
Speaker 1:
Literally.
Speaker 2:
Oh my gosh. Oh yeah, just thinking back it's crazy. I know the next one we have is about those beautiful mesh panties and huge pads. They are awful, but lifesavers. Awful in the sense that even when you have them on or this is just my experience it was like incredibly uncomfortable but you needed it, like I needed it, like I needed it to be that big or that, like whatever, because it really did, like you know, go from front to back. So you know it kind of kept everything contained. That was just you know natural body things happening. But I was like, oh, it's so uncomfortable to get on and it felt like it was weird and taking it off. And you know I, you know, luckily you get some to go home.
Speaker 2:
But with the second baby I got diapers, like adult diapers. It was the best thing I've ever done. I'll have to try it. It was way better than the pads at home, like the pads in the hospital, great, you know, like that kind of thing. But I did everything that you would do with the mesh panties and the huge pads, but with a diaper and they're just so they get everything Like it was the best thing ever and you could take it off. You didn't even. You could rip the sides like you would, a baby diaper kind of, so you didn't have to like pull them off, Like you know, if it was a little messy or something, and it was, I just felt like so much more comfortable than worrying about like the pads slipping or the mesh undies, like you know, I don't know. It felt cleaner and more comfortable with the diapers. So it might not be for everybody, but highly recommend testing it out, getting a pack and on Amazon they're way cheaper like the Amazon pack than like the name brand and they are phenomenal like literally phenomenal.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, no. So when I was in the hospital, I completely agree. So the mesh panties were super comfortable. I got extras and I like this big bag to go home and I got some extra like the little ice packs that they put that are the size of the pads. I had it like I decked it out.
Speaker 1:
I decked out the pad with like everything like the cooling cream and whatnot, because it was just, I also had like two little tiny tears near my urethra because of the catheter that they kind of didn't realize was taken out a little bit too quickly and so peeing for me was like stinging, but like also like really stinging. So I needed some of the cooling stuff. So when I went home, yeah, I actually bought and I believe my sister actually was very nice and got me like this little like basket for when I got home and got the Frida postpartum pack which comes with like the big pads, the big ice packs and like a cooling cream and then also like the peri bottle, which is also partly a game changer, especially if you have a tear up there.
Speaker 1:
But so I got to go home and still have the supplies, which is really nice, and I highly recommend you either take the stuff from the hospital which they let you and or yes, take it all and then also maybe like just get if you don't like the Frida cause it's a little bit expensive If you want to go on Amazon or I seem to make their own at home, although the pads aren't usually as large at home. So if you end up getting somehow hospital pads that are very large and making your own frozen pads, early props to you. Definitely do that.
Speaker 2:
But you know, however, you feel like it works.
Speaker 1:
Some people don't even like the cooling. They think they're going to like it and they don't. I've known some people that have been like that as well. So definitely try out things, see how it goes. If you have a tear, it's going to be different. That cooling might feel even better for you If you don't have any tears I didn't either, besides the one on top, but it just you know, it's a game changer and I will have to try those diapers next time, because I did not the first time around. So yeah, but I'm not gonna lie, I wore those mesh panties for as long as I could.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, well, that's. The other thing is that they were really comfortable, like the band and everything. So it's not like you had to do the pad and then the mesh panties and yeah, yeah. So the diaper was like. I Loved it.
Speaker 2:
I mean, I got a couple packs and I used them and I think I still have one that was like unused. So I mean, you know, it's just helpful, but like yeah, yeah, I would highly highly recommend they were just so cozy. And yeah, it was like at the time it was funny because I did it with my second and not my first, but I was like, oh my god, like there's three of us in diapers In the house now and I was telling my husband was like we just need you, like you know we were walking around, yeah, walking around all of our diapers you know?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so just in general, just be prepared for anything. Things might change. You might like certain things. I know some people that didn't want to put any cooling cream because they don't want to put anything near what's going on.
Speaker 1:
So totally up to you. But our last one is kind of a big one and it's gonna be. You're going to look different Physically. You're going to feel different. You know you're leaving as a mom. It's what you for, first-time mom, this is different for you know. Second and thirds, it might feel a little different for you but as first-time moms, you're leaving as a mom and you were never a mom before and it just feels like you're a whole different person. And if you're already a mom and you're going home, you've been through it before but you haven't been through it this time and of course, every time looks different. You might have even had a vaginal birth and then had a C-section, or you try to be back, which is vaginal birth after C-section, and all these things can be different and Even your recovery may look different. It may be quicker, it may be longer. So you know, just like you're gonna look different, you're gonna feel different and that's a big thing because for me, like physically, I went home still looking pregnant, as most women do, and Of course I went home with the feeling like looking at the pictures, like you know, like the bounce back Theory, I guess I'll call it Sorry.
Speaker 1:
I guess like more like the bounce back, like societal pressure Was there and I was like, oh, I had pitocin in me, so I was like I was fluid filled and I looked really bloated, like in my face was swollen, my legs and feet were swollen. I couldn't wear shoes. Still, when I was going home was like I can wear something besides, like my little slippers, and it was like two weeks before I even could like fit into a sneaker.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and I was like pushing it.
Speaker 1:
So, like you know, like your stomach's gonna. For me I kind of compare it to a waterbed. It's just kind of like squishy and that lasts a while. It's not just the six weeks, because postpartum doesn't end at six weeks. You know you're gonna have Longer time and it's gonna take a little bit of adjusting. Yeah, mentally as well. The mental part can last a little bit longer than the physical even sometimes. And it's important for you to kind of get checked and regular check with yourself, listen to people that say that you're possibly acting a little different or they're concerned about you. Just kind of like take everything in and also be aware that things may not go smoothly for you. You might need that extra help. Because asking for help is extremely important, because I look back wishing I did a lot sooner, because I felt very alone for four months and didn't really leave my bed for a long time.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I mean it's so, it's rough, like it's just different. I don't know how to explain it. I mean I think you did a really good job, but it's, you know, I remember taking my daughter in my first one. We walked in and right when you walk through the door it's like, oh wow, we're home, and like we're now a family of three, like it's just so different. It's a weird thing to experience.
Speaker 2:
And then you're trying to, you know, take care of this new human and do all of that while you're feeling like crap, right, you know, so it's like man, so it is hard and knowing how to just like. I don't know about feeling different, as much as I do know that I felt incredibly off and it's kind of like you have to like re-center at some point. But that takes time, exactly like you mentioned. It's not gonna happen in the first week. Two weeks, three weeks, it could take two months, it could take, you know, the eight weeks or longer to kind of find a new norm that works with adding in baby into your life, you know. And even with the second, I mean, yeah, you're more prepared and you do things, but that's even a new game changer of now you're integrating into what was three is now four, and now it's a new kind of dynamic of, you know, being that mom of two and just again you're struggling with doing even what was considered basic tasks, or you found like a rhythm with what works for what was the three of you and now you're adding in this new baby, who's very demanding, you know, and you know, a new little boss of the family.
Speaker 2:
So it's kind of like it's just interesting. You've definitely feel different, you definitely. You know, obviously, yeah, look different. And if you, you know, I would say the majority of moms and you and I have talked about this too and you mentioned it like you know, we do care about how we look at it, maybe because of society, maybe because of whatever, but it's a fact and that's a little bit of an emotional toll also, you know. So if you're feeling this way, it's not, it sucks, and you know I, my heart is with you because I get it. And you know some women bounce back quicker and some don't, and that's okay, you know we'll, we'll figure it out and we can put focus on, but you put focus where you can at any given time, you know.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, that's just kind of like. The beauty of motherhood, though, is that this all comes in seasons. There's gonna be weeks, or even months, where you feel absolutely amazing and you're like feel like you're kicking butt and you're like doing, you know, everything that you can in the best way, and then there's gonna be sometimes where you know you're just feeling like things could not get any worse and you're mentally drained or you're burnt out, and that's when you know, just when you get into those things, it's nice to recenter yourself. There's like some resources that you can always reach out to If you have a therapist, of course, or you know just like ask for help if it's like a family member and stuff and just kind of take it one day at a time. But, again, you guys are doing amazing, and there's so much to motherhood it's just like we can go on forever. But those are, you know, like those are our top five.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, those are top five. A little bit of fun with a little dash of of we're keeping it real with you. But that's what we have for today and thank you so much for listening and joining us on another mini episode.
Speaker 1:
We really like doing these, you know, quick and short, to the point ones with you and having a little fun, yeah, and quick announcement If you haven't signed up yet, we started a weekly newsletter that will be filled with tips, clips and our next guests and exclusive content straight to your inbox. Just click the link in our Insta bio or you can find it below. So we are excited to kind of connect with you guys in that way and we will see you here for our next episode next Friday.
Speaker 2:
Yay, okay, bye, mama, Bye. Thank you so much for joining us today. We're so excited you're taking this journey with us. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please subscribe, leave a rating, a review or tell another mama about us.
Speaker 1:
To stay up to date with Postpondent Confessions and get all the behind the scenes content. You can join our email list or follow us on Instagram at postpondentconfessions underscore. All the links are in our show notes. This air takes a village. Welcome home, mama.